Last week, we looked at resolving an unpleasant dispute situation through the help of a few methods.

I also mentioned about the pressing need one may feel to vent out to someone, a third party. Actually, there are healthier ways to achieve a release.

For instance, shout at a wall, release it by writing or just connect with nature to feel calm.

Words have energy and when toxic words are directed at the person with whom one is engaged in an altercation, it causes emotional damage, to both or all the parties involved.

Arrows, when released, can’t be brought back, words voiced, can’t be caught back, waves of sea don’t recede until the shore is hit. Meaning, once the momentum of an energy is gained, the landing will take place, but the effect of the landing needs to be considered. Therefore, it is better to give ‘pause’ to the war of words.

For this reason, venting to a third party also warrants consideration as it causes dependency to an ‘external’ source for relief. Besides, it puts the ‘vent-er’ at the mercy of the third person’s dominant vibration at the time.

We share a karmic relationship with people close to us: parents, siblings, relatives. Many frictions find root in the past lives and the karmic relationships between you and them. Whether you are a recipient of a karmic transaction (good or bad) or a giver, is irrelevant, what is relevant is, how you release a negative karma and how you stop from creating more. We are all constantly living and creating karma.

The deal ought to be how to transform limiting energies and to go on to create positive karma; for yourself, in the present life and for your generations.

Positive karma is created with positive actions. So, in the whole altercation situation, the ego has to go out of the equation. (Ego is also not the villain, it’s job is to protect one from feeling the pain). When the ego is out, making peace is easy. Then, the value of relationship becomes more important than ‘I am right and you are wrong.’

When unresolved, one party does feel like a victim, but if s/he chooses to drop this low-feeling energy, then the learning dawn fast. Let the ‘victors’ deal with their own karma. As for you, extract what the hidden positive learning from that experience are. Ask: what useful learning I did I get?

Continuing to feel like a victim is a choice. This option is presented by the ego, to personalise the experience and also to give some relief. One doesn’t have to get attached to this victim mode.

One can feel upset, but let that feeling not descend into resentment, where one blocks the energy. Any act of keeping scores, plotting, planning to settle etc is emotionally damaging and physically fatiguing.

Reach out with the intention of peaceful closure when emotions are stable.

Here are a few activities to emerge out of the victim mode quickly and in a healthy manner to neutralise the disturbed emotions:

Go for a walk, jog or exercise. Listen to your favourite music, dance if you feel like it. Maybe cook your favourite meal. Play with your pet. Spend time in nature.

The idea is to move the body in a healthy manner. Not only does this give you an instant lift, but it engages the mind in the most constructive manner.

One should avoid sitting still in a disturbed situation, mulling and suffering. (Reflection is another thing.)

Movement of body changes the breath pattern, which changes the thought patterns and that helps neutralise intensity of an unpleasant event.

Ask: What did this experience teach me positively? Who can I be, what can I do, how can I create and generate my life that gives me happiness? What makes me feel lighter forgiving or resenting? Ask these for you.

Disclaimer: Urmila Rao is a chakra balancing meditation coach, Theta Healer and a sound therapist. All the ideas expressed herein are her own and not professional advice or medical prescription. She can be reached at: milarao2018@gmail.com